by Ramani Durvasula (Author) 

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

“A compassionate road map and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships...” —Jay Shetty, New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk and host of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism

AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER

It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. One day they draw you in with their charm and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-esteem, and leave you wondering, What should I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani explains in It’s Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing.

Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease them. The first step toward healing from their toxic influence—and to protect yourself from future harm—is to accept that you are not to blame for their behavior.

Drawing on more than two decades of studying the landscape of narcissism and working with survivors, Dr. Ramani explores how narcissists hijack our well-being and offers a healing path forward. Unpacking the oft-misunderstood personality, she reveals the telltale behavioral patterns that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissist. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep you stuck in the cycle, grieve the loss of these painful relationships, create and maintain realistic boundaries, discern unhelpful behaviors from narcissistic behaviors, and recover your sense of self after constant invalidation.

Thriving after, or even during, a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but It’s Not You shows you it is possible. Dr. Ramani invites you to stop blaming yourself and trying to change the narcissistic person, and to start giving yourself permission to let go of their hold on you and finally embrace your true self.

Review

“A compassionate roadmap and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships...that helps...them understand how to heal and thrive during and after these challenging relationships.”

–Jay Shetty, bestselling author of Think Like A Monk and host of the On Purpose Podcast

“A must read. Dr. Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship. With her expert advice based on decades of research and clinical experience, she makes the impossible seem possible.”

–Mel Robbins, bestselling author of The High Five Habit and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast

“Dr. Ramani has written the book on narcissism for our times, not simply because it upends everything we thought we knew about this personality, but because it gives real people a sense of hope…that they can heal, that they can move forward from these relationships, that it’s not you.” –Maria Shriver

“In writing It's Not You, Dr. Durvasula directly addresses victims of narcissistic abuse with targeted advice developed through years of clinical experience and research. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling in a relationship with a narcissist. Once you realize it's not you who is the problem, you can become the solution.”

–W. Keith Campbell, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Georgia and author of The Narcissism Epidemic

“It’s Not You tackles a subject matter so wildly misunderstood and offers a path forward for those who have been, or currently are in narcissistic relationships. With deep compassion, Dr. Ramani masterfully helps the reader shift from self-blame to seeing the picture clearly. What a profound gift it is to those who will see their experience written about in this book and feel a little less alone.”

–Vienna Pharaon, bestselling author of The Origins of You and host of the This Keeps Happening podcast

“Whether you are looking to avoid damaging relationships, leave one, or finally move on from one, Dr. Ramani has produced a work that is utterly essential for understanding the patterns we were never built to see coming. By lifting the veil on these people, she not only teaches us about them, but how to stop shaming ourselves for who we had to become to survive them. It’s Not You is not just life-saving, but life-restoring. More than a way out, it’s a way back, to yourself.”

–Matthew Hussey, host of the Love Life with Matthew Hussey podcast

“Emotionally abusive relationships take away our voice and our power, and Dr. Ramani gives us the tools and teaches all of us how to take ourselves back and feel whole again.”

–Debra Newell, author of Surviving Dirty John

Categories : Mental Illness, Self-Esteem Self-Help

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0C4J6P5RB

Publisher ‏ : ‎ The Open Field (February 20, 2024)

Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 20, 2024

Language ‏ : ‎ English

File‏ : ‎ EPUB, 1.19 MB

Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled

Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported

Print length ‏ : ‎ 362 pages